At 23 I was madly in love with a really wonderful and loving guy, juggling business and a full-time job, pregnant and extremely overwhelmed. There I was, young, ambitious and ready to make all my childhood dreams a reality. David and I were over the moon with the pregnancy news, but the thought of maturing into adulthood, becoming a mother and committed partner was scary. I mean I was still young (I loved to party too much) and clueless, just started living my life and earning a living and here I was just about to take up this huge responsibility. At first I felt like my life was over but honestly, it had just began and it was only getting better. Instead of thinking how hard it was going to be I decided to use the opportunity to shift my perspective and refocus my goals.
So what challenges have I experienced as a young mum? Lack of confidence and self-doubt were number one on my list. I was so scared about becoming a mother, having another person’s life and future all in my hands was scary. Thankfully, I had strong support system and as the birth date got closer I was feeling more and more confident and ready to take on the task ahead of me. I realized most of this self-doubt and feeling very self-conscious usually stems from all the negative stereotypes of society. You know how everyone has an opinion about when a woman should settle down and have a family? How having a baby at a young age is more like a taboo? Yes, don’t let that get to you, there is nothing like the perfect time to have a baby.
Wishful thinking. Every young mother must have had some moments where they wish they had waited till they were a certain age or in a better place in life. Like what if I waited till I was 30? Till I had a better job? Till I was financially stable? Till I had travelled the world and done all those crazy things on my bucket list? Its challenging and hard to come to terms with all the life changes that motherhood brings along but its a beautiful experience and the best part is I can still travel the world with my daughter and make beautiful memories together.
Comparing myself to others. Yes, I used to look at my friends who were still partying all weekend and living what I considered “the good life”…..At first I felt like I was sacrificing all the best parts of my young life to be a mother. However, I have come to learn that everything in life is all about finding the perfect balance. Yes you can still have fun, travel, work, build a career and still be a kick-ass mother and wife. Motherhood is not a sacrifice but the biggest blessing any woman will ever experience. I also initially used to compare myself to other mothers who seemed to have it all perfectly figured out, but I have come to embrace motherhood as an everyday learning experience. I believe in doing the best i can without comparing myself to other mums or my kid to other kids. Comaprison steals the joy, appreciate your efforts and do your best the best way you can and know how.
As challenging as it is, motherhood both at a young age or older age is the most amazing experience in the life of every woman. Its the biggest blessing and my advice to all the young mothers out there is to embrace, love and appreciate the journey. Give a deaf ear to all the naysayers and societal stereotypes, as far as i am concerned, I don’t have to be a certain age to be considered a perfect candidate for motherhood. When God decided to bless you with gift of bringing forth another life into this world He knew you were ready.
Personally motherhood has been an amazing catalyst for personal growth. My life just started the day Naya became a part of it. She is my reason for living and I can’t imagine a life without her. Challenges or no challenges she is the best blessing I have.
Thanks so much for stopping by